A TRIBUTE TO MY HERO, CHUKWUKA!

It was a wise man from Poland that explained heartbreak intelligently. He said that heartbreak is like a head wound. It makes you very dizzy you think you may die but you don't.

You heal.

2013 I lost my father. I was young with a strong willingness to make mistakes. You know the excitement of exuberance and how that excitement alone can make you lose your own mind. That was the age i was when i suffered my first heartbreak.

My father died.

I have suffered the heartbreak of romantic relationship. It is not as painful as the heartbreak that comes from death. The one of death hits different. You can always go to a party and see a girl and could fall in love with her and you slowly forget the wickedness of your ex.

But. But. I can never walk into anywhere and see my father again. Do you understand? Okay.

After old man died i had 3 brothers and a mother to lead. To be an "example" , to proffer solutions and handle family matters as the new father.

Lol. I was an 18 year old that had recently discovered the magic of the opposite gender. I really didn't have big plans for my life. Lol. I just wanted to enjoy life and unno. just keep enjoying it.

Jamb didn't give me law so after a lot of ups and downs i saw myself in a college of education in Umunze. I entered the school with intent of staying there and writing jamb the next year.

So i wasn't so serious. i was just busy with my duty and a handsome man and that was all . No purpose whatsoever.

One evening i sat outside the hostel and saw one guy that my cousin was always hailing. To me, my big cousin should be the biggest person because i mean he's big cuz. But my cousin always greeted this fellow student with reverence and gratitude. He was smart.

He was the smartest person that many people who ever met him will ever see in their entire lives.

His name was Biowiz. His class mates had christened him Biology Wizard. He studied biology and understood biology. Nigga was a walking encyclopedia.

Because jamb had made me to be in a college of education studying English education, i walked up to him and said:

"Good evening Biowiz. I want to be "English wiz".

Although the marriage of English and wizard was never going to produce a child as elegant as "Biowiz", I didn't bother. I wanted to be as different as he was. I liked the way people respected his opinions and i wanted to be like him.

Really.

He laughed and said he knew me. He said he sees how girls run around me and How happy i was when they do so. He said that until i made that statement he thought i was a very unserious person.

That was the day my life changed forever. He became a bigger brother, he became my school father, he became my friend. He turned me into something that was always going to want to stay around him. Because the kind of conversations he made me like was hardly done by anybody else. Damn we talked stars, moon, sun, culture, science, history, wars, booooooksssssss, marriage, friendship, dreams, hopes, frustrations, fear.

What did we not talk about? Books!

He made me love books. The first official poem i wrote was an assignment he gave me.

After he told me to buy 48 laws of power and Audacity of hope, he noticed i changed. He said my vocabulary changed and the way i spoke began to interest him.

He told me to write a poem about the unrest in the school at the time. I did and gave it to him.

I remember his smile. I remember the way he said "You should not stop. Mark you should write"

I remember the way he folded it meticulously and smuggled it into his pocket that had his big phone in it. I remember these things.

He made me understand life. He showed me that there were other perspectives. He opened my eyes to a different paradigm. He introduced me to lecturers who were his very close friends. I became different.

Started reading like an idiot. Became bold. I remember the first day i argued with him and he said that he watched my growth and he was proud of it.

He was the only person i knew on this earth that could give me his two kidneys if i need it to survive. He could die for me! He loved me so much it made me cry. He gave me so much love. Damn! After he loved me, I don't think he got any remaining.

He died yesterday. My second wound to the head. Heartbreak again!

Yup!

He's gone.

Biowiz is gone. Very funny.

Nna,

I couldn't philosophize your death. I grew numb. I'm still numb.

I love you bro! You changed my life! You showed me this way! You are responsible for everything i am and all I'm yet to be.

I am glad i told you all these. You know what you meant to me. I talked about you everywhere.

One day we were talking and you mesmerized me with a phrase and i said "I cant wait for you to be the governor of Anambra." Boy had dreams! Big ones.

But that day he told me "Leave me. Have you looked at yourself as governor before? Look at yourself the way you look at me"

That was him. selfless!

That is how he died. He saw reaching out to people about his problem as burden. He will always remind me that he wont gift people his demons.

The last time you came I couldn't hug you. Damn you were sick!!! I don't know how to do easy hugs. if i had hugged you the way i do, you for die for my hand.

It broke me. The way you looked.

The night before you left Awka, you told me to come and stand before you. You said i should turn around. It was weird but i had missed you. Anything you asked me to do i will.

Before you left in the morning you told me that the reason you asked me to turn was because you wanted to see me very well. I didn't know it was the last time you were going to pay so much attention to me.

You left.

You looked out through the Keke while it drove off. Our eyes met. I couldn't smile. You didn't smile.

It felt different and strange.

We smiled at each other whenever we saw. Even if we met 10 times a day, i will smile. You thought me to!

Guy. I love you. I haven't spoken to your son yet. He doesn't know you're gone yet. I spoke to Caroline yesterday guy.

She said she loved you with her life. She said that even in death, she will love you. She said she will dedicate her life to taking care of you peoples child. Wisdom.

Bro, I'll try everything in my power to make sure your son and his mom, Caroline have a good life. I hope that everybody who experienced your light will do the same.

Jee nke oma Bio. Bye.

I miss you so much. I love you.

Please be my guardian angel.

I am using this photo to comfort myself. You found me very funny. I made you laugh so much.

It makes me feel good now.

Nna bye!

Bye bye. Nzebuike!